^^ When one family member is sick helping them feel better becomes a family affair. Taken at 11:30pm from the floor of my entry way. ^^
This weekend was spent in super cat mum mode after Hem and I found ourselves in Animal Urgent Care on Saturday night. She’s going to be absolutely fine but we’re still in the nerve wracking process of trying to figure out what’s going on/how to get this little nugget back on her feet (and jumping on top of doors).
Now, going to the vet with my cats I find to be a weird mental battle between calm nostalgia and stress. My first job at 16 was working at a local vet office and after three years there, I got a ton of experience working with sick and injured animals. But it’s always different when it’s your pet.
Especially when your pet is trying to scale the walls of the room and/or punch the vet in the face for looking at them the wrong way.
Sitting in the waiting room, I couldn’t help but notice everyone was in a couple except for me. Now, this happens a lot in New York City, especially during the winter cuffing season. Couples seem to sprout up out of nowhere and besides being in love, their singular mission seems to be blocking the sidewalk. I would be lying if I said I loved being single every minute of everyday. New York City is a hard city to live in and sometimes, all you want is to curl up inside of a hug from someone who loves you.
This week I’ve been reading “Furiously Happy” by Jenny Lawson, a hilarious book about trying your best in the face of mental illness. In it, she reminds the reader of how easy it is to be our own worst critics. Since we know everything about ourselves — the mistakes, the missed deadlines, the fights, the fails — we sometimes focus only on what we don’t have over the great little things we are.
But sitting in that waiting room, I realized that over the last three years, my singleness has been my superpower. By being single, I’ve learned to tackle things — from caring for my cats to resealing my windows — all on my own. I’ve rented my own apartment, paid for trips around the world, and learned to make pottery! I’ve fought back against condescending questions from engineers, shrugged off ignorant, hurtful comments on my articles, and built a home 2300 miles away from where I grew up. And I did this all on my own.
Yes, someday it will be amazing to be in a partnership but it won’t be out of necessity. It won’t be because I don’t enjoy my own company or I’m afraid of being alone. I think I’m great! And one of many reasons I believe this is because I know whatever comes my way, I can handle it.
Someday I’ll be sitting on my rocker, holding the hand of my partner, and think back fondly and proudly of my single self, that scrappy girl who moved across the country with her cats and made it work. So when it feels like you’re are messing everything up or — as Jenny Lawson writes — “your behind-the-scenes self doesn’t match the highlight reels of people around you,” know that you are enough.
Then take yourself out for a beer because this type of introspection deserves a celebration.