Thoughts I Have During Yoga

^^ Art by Gemma Correll.^^

Sometimes the biggest challenge of taking a yoga class is staying present. I move into my first sun salutation and suddenly my mind is running laps as if in the next hour it’s responsible for solving all of the world’s great problems.

For instance, how many times a year does Zara have a big sale?

Despite practicing yoga for ten years now, I still have classes where my mind is anywhere but with my yoga mat Alfred (named after the butler in Batman). Suddenly, with a little time to myself, I begin to process every thought/feeling/ponderment that has ever crossed my path. Health insurance packages, to do lists, awkward social interactions, philosophical debates, the meaning of last night’s nightmare (seriously, can ukelele music  be sinister?), Anna Farris and Chris Pratt splitting up, the last time I took a vitamin — the list is endless.

On one hand, yoga is a very emotional activity. By moving through its familiar poses, I’m often surprised by the waves of emotion that wash up. Old regrets, insecurities, long buried grudges or cringeworthy memories. I let them wash in and out like waves before giving myself permission to set them down. They’re just unnecessary to keep carrying around.

On the other hand, the practice of yoga is quite mental. Yes, you’re working to build a strong body, but more importantly, you’re training yourself to be present within a given moment. But in the age of hyperconnectivity, it’s a hard one to shake off. It’s something I’m actively working on in class because when my mind starts to wander, it’s hard to reign back in.

And while I haven’t yet mastered the art of meditation, I thought I might as well share the random yoga thoughts I’ve had over the years. Because no matter how many crow poses you accomplish, you’re still never above the worry of crotch sweat stains. 

^^ Art by Sarah Andersen. ^^

How does my yoga teacher make it here at 7am with such pep? I can barely drag myself across the street. Oh shoot, did I brush my teeth?

Did I put on deodorant?

I should run a 5K. Wait, it’s winter, so maybe after that? Do people still run in the winter? That’s kind of overachieving of them. I bet they also match their underwear and their bras everyday AND get weekly manicures. Yeah, that’s too much, I’ll wait till spring to reevaluate this.

I am a warrior.

Am I on Instagram too much?

You know what would solve all the “Riverdale’s” problems? Better communication! Christ, I’m not getting on this Betty and Jughead breakup train yet again when all this could have been avoided if the pair had just talked about Betty joining the serpents.

Wait, wait, back to my intention. What was it again? Being present? No, maybe something about opening my heart. Yeah, yeah, open that heart!

Am I a good cat mum?

Am I doing enough? Writing enough? Everyone else seems so much more accomplished.

I wonder what Muppet I’d be … (haven’t solved this one yet).

If I have over 100 unread books in my house and I make the goal of reading 50 per year, then I should be through them in three years. But do I get more books in between then? Maybe I should just quit my job and become a professional reader.

Am I pitching enough stories? And why aren’t any getting picked up? This might be worse than asking people on dates and getting rejected.

Am I dripping sweat on my yoga mat or is the person next to me? When did they take their shirt off? Unnecessary yoga nudity! Flag! Penalty!

Are soul mates a real thing?

How long can you keep a pair of socks for? What if they’re cool socks, can you keep those longer?

Do I have enough ice tea at home?

Wow, toes are so weird.

If the teacher rubs oil on everyones’ heads during savasana, is that hygienic? What am I saying, I ride the subway everyday, if I’m going to get viral meningitis it’s totally from there.

Who will be the next James Bond? Please let it be Idris Elba.

I should really do more sit ups. I should also really get a donut after this.

Where do people buy nice looking wool coats? There are so many requirements for winter, seriously, boots, jackets, scarves, mittens, beanies — people don’t have to live like this!

What would I do if I was in Mia’s shoes in the book “Little Fires Everywhere”? Sweet muffins that was a good book.

Is the fact that my backpack and my snow jacket match a little … too much? Or the fact I now own two pairs of metallic books? I vote nay and since I’m the only one taking this poll, looks like I win.

I don’t love the sock boot trend no matter how many beauty vloggers try and shovel it down my throat.

What is my great life purpose?

Are there llama rescues? If so, when I grow old, I want to have a small cabin where I have lots of animals and foster dogs, cats, and llamas. Maybe even the occasional raccoon. I should probably buy more plaid in preparation.

Wasn’t I supposed to write a blog post about yoga yesterday?

Wow, that woman next to me just did a spontaneous head stand. How is that possible? She’s probably found her center. Oh yeah, stay centered.

^^ I found so many amazing yoga cartoons, I couldn’t pick just ONE for this post. Obviously this is Fitz and me everyday. Except neither of us is this flexible or own leg warmers. ^^

 

 

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