And In a Blink, Fall Was Over

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^^ The tiny garden next to my apartment where I found “The Yiddish Policeman’s Union” in their community library. 1M points for you community garden! ^^

And just as quickly and silently as she arrived, Fall packed her bags and Irish goodbyed Brooklyn last night leaving me to put my beanie and winter jacket back into rotation. Now, it’s not officially winter, but after nearly running home from the train tonight to avoid the icy wind, it was a rough preview of what is to come.

I know I joke about my fear of going to watch a movie and entirely missing Fall, but to be honest, that’s a bit how it felt this year.

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^^ Prospect Park. ^^

This last month, I’ve been struggling to juggle work, writing, yoga and having any kind of social life. In college, I perfected the bad habit of overcommitting to a million things and then burning myself out a month later. I would get so excited about all the opportunities in front of me that I would hoard them like a squirrel collecting nuts for the winter. I wanted to do it all! While in theory this seemed like a fine idea, in reality it meant I was doing a lot of things and none of them well. Soon I was in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation and on academic probation for a quarter because 22 units and three internships was not a feasible — or sane — thing to do. Since then I’ve worked really hard to set realistic work/life boundaries for myself so that I’m not a stressed out basket case whose eye can’t stop twitching while in line to buy a muffin.

But this Fall, under my self-imposed pressure to keep growing as a writer, I’ve been falling back into this habit of overcommitting to the point of extreme stress. This desire to write at all costs has topped everything else and this week, with five deadlines looming, I realized I needed to start easing up on my schedule. In committing to way more writing than I could feasibly accomplish, I had cut out any flexibility to be social and mentally, this lack of fun was starting to wear on me. Ironically, the adventures I was essentially chasing in my articles I was pushing out of my own life.

^^ Cats on the prowl, the view from the G train, and my walk home from work. ^^

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving and having my family stay with me for the holidays, I’m initiating a bit of a restart. A REALISTIC restart I hope. Mind you, I haven’t perfected it. Even tonight I’ll probably be up writing until 1 A.M. but I’m trying. I’ve been debating doing a digital detox after watching this video from Estèe Lalonde or dedicating one day a month to being a tourist in New York. I think having Fall come and go so quickly has inspired me to make more of an effort to be present in the little moments of the city because I’d hate to look back and see the long laundry list of things “I always wanted to do” but never got around to doing while living here. So here’s to more self-care, more adventures, more popcorn and ice tea (because why not?), and mostly, to showing up for yourself when you really need it.

Having Thanksgiving to you and yours. But mainly, happy “Gilmore Girls” revival to us all.

 

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