Random Thoughts for a Random Wednesday


I went into this weekend with a to-do list customized by the day, the time, and the priority of items. But after a week of seeing more apartments than I have dates in the past well … long time, I found myself on a Friday night falling into a rabbit hole of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” episodes. Why? Because why not.The hair barrettes; the knee high, chunky heeled boots; the angst of teenage-vampire love — it has been the exact thing to cause a dopamine rush in my over tired, over heated summer brain.

This is all to say that my weekend has quickly evolved into a taco eating, Netflix binge watching, sleep catch up session. Oddly enough, it’s taking me a while to be okay with just that. One of the biggest qualities I strive for is to be present with the people in my life. But when it comes to doing that for myself, it’s not so easy. Instead of sitting on the couch enjoying TV and some kitten conversations, I’m usually preoccupied thinking about pieces I should be writing or anxious that I should be a normal 26-year-old out at a bar meeting new people. So in an effort to be in the present for myself, these were the random thoughts that took up too much time – or just the right amount of time – in my brain this weekend:

If they made a candle that smelled like the fire station linoleum floors I would buy all of them. But seriously, why are candles so expensive?

Should I make an announcement during my next yoga class that no, I’m not winking at people, but rather my contacts dry out when we’re instructed to close our eyes and relax.

When asked what I’m looking for in an apartment, my best answer has been: A mix of Carrie Bradshaw’s apartment in “Sex and the City” and the apartment in “Secret Life of Pets.” It’s been really helpful to no one but me.

My proudest weekend accomplishment was figuring out how to nap on my tiny apartment couch WITH a cat.

I think I should write a James Bond movie in which he has a feminist sidekick who spends the entire film educating him on the his lifelong errors. For example, instead of yelling “See you around!” after sleeping with your x-ray technician, maybe thank her for spending time with you followed by a conversation about the importance of using protection and routine STD testing.

If Batman was real, would we be friends?

I sometimes day dream on the subway that my alter ego is a jazz singer who after working at Google all day, hops on stage to belt Adele and Whitney Houston.

Can you call it a bedroom in you can barely fit a twin size bed in it? Check yourself NY listings.

Do you think the Hanson brothers are sad when people say “Those guys just disappeared!” In reality, they never left, we all just Irish goodbyed their party after “MMMBop.”

Sometimes I find myself making too much eye contact with too many people on the streets of NYC and it’s exhausting.

How do people enjoy two glasses of wine or beer and an hour later, not fall asleep? For me it’s almost an immediate reaction that has me politely, yet forcefully, asking people to leave my home after brunch.

What was life like before the humidity made me sweat through every piece of clothing I own?




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