There are some days when I’m completely winning at surviving in New York City. I’ve gotten a morning bagel, gone to yoga, bought cat food, seen friends, stayed up to a socially acceptable hour to grab beers and dance, and then come home — spirits high — and cooked dumplings while singing “Am I A Man or a Muppet.”
But there are some days, like today, when New York wins. And when it wins, sweet lord, it does a victory dance around me, throws up two middle fingers, and yells in my face, SUCK IT!
New York, sometimes you make it impossible to love you. You throw at me icy rain — which is neither hail nor snow, but rather slush falling from the sky — delay my train by an hour, make me carry home heavy boxes of cat liter, throw rude people into my path, and force me to wear the same over-sized snow jacket and boots everyday. I mean come on! You make me slip on ice just for the fun of it, what’s up with that!
Surprisingly, it’s only been a month since I moved here, and after the chaos of moving in, and starting work died down, I realized how hard it is going to be establishing a life in the city. I wouldn’t say I directly miss the city of LA itself but rather, the feeling of familiarity and routine. I find myself wanting to simultaneously alone and surrounded by people, adventurous and a homebody, trying new things and clinging to my habits. Here, I’m constantly out of my comfort zone and sometimes, it boils up into a mountain of feelings only expressed through grumbling and crying on the street. Well, more the desire to cry since my tear ducts refused to actually release the liquid and I ended up just giving up and walking home.
I know all will be better with time and I just need to be patient, but sometimes, running away and becoming a dancing character at Disneyland seems a better option. So this is my reminder, to live in the change. You won today New York, but tomorrow, I’m coming back swinging.