You’re not ready for all those phases your friends are branching into. Marriage, is that a thing people are doing now? When did that happen?
You compliment a stranger. The salad man at work might disagree with me — especially since I constantly tell him how life changing his salad preparation has been in my life — but just don’t be creepy about it and I think all is well. Who knows, you might just make someone’s day.
You trip and fall into a meeting. Just a different way to make an entrance.
Your imagination makes up life stories for every single person on the subway in between your home and work.
You throw shade at the couple making out on the subway. I’m sorry, is it the smell of urine or sweat that you find romantic in this situation?
You know the name of every employee at the bakery underneath your office.
Your definition of a successful day is finding a cinnamon roll, eating it, and considering everything else frosting on the cinnamon roll you just consumed in record time.
You start your own dance floor. Carly recommended and approved.
You blow out candles in bar bathrooms because they’re an obvious fire hazard. Come on people, this is basic fire safety.
When your brain is swimming from video statistics and curation, to take a moment to imagine starting a dance party in your very adult-like office. Come on guys, blast a little “Dancing in the Moonlight” and bust some moves.
Your preferred means of transportation is your own two feet. First off, they’re very dainty, and second, what better way to take in the city?
Taylor Swift singing about one night stands is the most confusing thing you heard all day.
You freak people out with the intense level of eye contact you maintain. Yeah, look in these baby browns! Can’t avoid this!
You wear snow boots to a bar.
You’ve officially surrendered your desk chair to your obese snoozing cat and are now writing this post on the ground.
It’s not okay if …
You don’t read books. I mean … who are you? Stop this!
You don’t share your beer finds with your dad. That’s just selfish.
An unnamed cat thinks it’s fun to sit on your chest in the morning and loudly share his thoughts about the economy, the State of the Union address, and his empty food dish.
You do not try every cupcake/lemon bar/cookie in the city you live in. No one is too good for a cookie, remember that.
You didn’t take a moment today to be grateful for something, big or small, in your life.