It’s okay if …
You post more photos of your cats on social media than you do of your family, friends and boyfriend combined.
You count a lemon bar towards you daily fruit intact. I mean there are a LOT of lemons in that bad boy.
Your happy hour is any hour of the day.
Some days the closest you get to dressing up is putting on earrings. Hey, it counts!
You’re in a perpetual state of being two months behind on your magazine subscriptions. I figure I’ll have time to read them when I retire, but then again I’ll also be the 80-year-old magazine hoarder, so I don’t know if you should listen to my advice.
Some nights you just want to stay in, cuddle with your cats, sip an ice tea, and watch reruns of “Sex in the City.” You figure, your local bar will still be there tomorrow.
You enjoy going to the movies alone. Movies are not a time to chat, so why not save your plus-one time for when you can actually talk.
You listen to Christmas music in the middle of July. Respect.
You mispronounce basic words such as Nike and herbal. Happens to the best of us.
During the most inopportune times you get the giggles. I believe, it just adds a little atmosphere to a funeral.
You go to clubs to actually dance.
Your one attempt at negotiating ends with you awkwardly blurting out, “Well, that’s a number and that’s how you negotiate.” You’ll get ’em next time.
You never knew makeup expired.
You don’t want roommates anymore. Sure, you love your friends, but you also love not having to do other peoples’ dishes. Hey, I get it!
Your Disneyland dream date is a dead, old author rather than a celebrity heartthrob.
You love getting mail more than you love making phone calls. “Save the post office, send a postcard,” is my motto! Just ask Howard.
You get insulted when people offer to drink your beer during a drinking game. Back up pal, my German genes and I are doing fine here.
You only own one bathing suit. Seriously, why in the world would you need more?
It’s not okay if…
You don’t start making your dreams into a reality.
You back out on someone at the last minute, and you already know they’ve on their way IN TRAFFIC to get to you.
You don’t do something because you fear others will find you weird.
You keep pushing back deadlines. This is one I’m working on hard this year.
The last time you did laundry athletes were competing in the Olympics.
You liked “Atonement” the movie better than the book. Just leave.